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Official Rules for Mary Ann verses Jason


NickHolt

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OK race fans... here's the deal for the Mary Ann verses Jason Match Race of the Century this Saturday, May 15th, at Thunder Hill Raceway

 

If you miss this one, you'll kick yourself for the rest of your life....There is NO LOVE LOST between these two. Jason has been openly critical of the TSRS series and Mary Ann .. well.. go read the threads about this deal.

 

THE OFFICIAL RULES (at least all I can think of right now)

 

1) Both drivers must show a Picture ID at the Pit Gate. No one knows what Jason actually looks like. Of course we all know what Mary Ann looks like (careful NO35KRACING), but what's fair for one is fair for the other.

 

2) Because Jason's a total rookie and has no idea of the horrible beating he is about to face, he will get his choice of the Grand Stock cars currently owned by Thunder Hill Raceway. They are all pretty evenly matched based on the race results so far, so it really shouldn't make much difference. But, hey, Jason's gonna need all the help he can get and we don't want him complaining after he gets his doors blown off.

 

3) No alterations, carb changes, engine swaps, super charging, etc, can be made to the cars. Tire pressures may be adjuseted to suit driving style.

 

4) There will be a coin toss at the start finish line for the pole position - The winner gets to select whether they want to start on the inside or outside pole. (Hint to Jason -- It won't matter where you start)

 

5) The event will consist of 5 laps of side by side, door-to-door, paint-swapping racing. Or Jason will get lapped two or three times. One or the other.. LOL In either case, the one who completes five laps first will be declared the winner. If no one finishes all five laps because the were laughing so hard they couldn't see, the race will be awarded to the one who actually goes the furthest.

 

5) Yellow laps (if any) will not be counted. Can't get out of it that easy Jason..

 

6) Randy Hubbard will flag the race. Kathy will score the race (Think you can handle this one Kathy?). Nick Holt will judge the race. The "all involved" rule will be in effect.. LOL

 

7) All decisions of the Competition Director will be final. No appeals accepted. No protests will be accepted. Substancial bribes considered.. LOL

 

8) Crying towel will be furnished to the looser.

 

Did I forget anything??????

 

Nick Holt

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One of ya'll needs to stop at the HEB in Buda and get a big bunch of bananas for Jason--He's likely to get hungry sometime during the night............

 

Somehow Jason driving reminds me of one of those "Cannonball" movies from a few years back........

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:lol::lol::lol: I think you about covered it Nick. I think Jason may need some help here so here are some pearls of wisdom for him

1 Go fast turn left. If you are turning right things are probably not going well for you. 2 It is not necessary to use your turn signal when turning left. 3 The blue flag with a red stripe means move over the leader is about to pass you. The "chrome horn" don't look for it on the steering wheel, it will find you. The "pucker factor" You'll figure this one out when you head into the first turn or the previously mentioned chrome horn finds you. "Flux Capacitor" For $50.00 Big John can install one on your car and it will make it faster. I hope this helps you Jason. I'll be there to see this one. Oh, one more hint. If Nick offers you a towel, I'd make sure it was clean before wiping your face. :lol::lol::lol:

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Funny,funny,so funny,can't stop laughting.Jason,you better get yourself to CCMS and practice,practice.Oh yes, Jason and I had a long talk last night and I gave him some good advice on the race.Now knowing Jason,whom I don't won't listen to me.My first advice is to practice. I remmber my first time in my 57 chevy the purple lady,I went into a spin and hit the front straight away head on. I wasn't hurt but the race car was. So need to practice Jason,you need to take it slow because if you don't remmber the purple lady.You better practice,they say practice makes perfect!But sometime we all have to learn the hard way. I did. See you at practice Wed. HUH!! Carol Yocum

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Uh oh Bradley better not post something like that. His little fanboys might get on here and get mad! They might throw a beer can at your car at the next romco race! lol

 

What does the winner of our race receive?

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What does the winner of our race receive?

 

Actually, we haven't thought that far ahead yet. But come to think of it, I have an old trophy somewhere around here from my basketball playing days. All we'll have to do is to break off the basketball the guy on top is holding and tape on a model car with 200 MPH racer tape. And oh yeah.. just scratch out my name and put yours in if you win. This trophy, standing an impressive 11 inches tall, is sure to become a collectors item that you'll be proud to display to your grandkids one day.

 

And as for a purse, well just be thankful we're not charging you for a pit pass. LOL

 

But, seriously, Chuck and Mary Ann are working on something (not all worked out yet, so don't hold me to this) that might end up benefitting your favorite charity if you win and or Mary Ann's favorite charity if she wins.

 

Nick Holt

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Guest Mary Ann Naumann
What does the winner of our race receive?
My understanding is Jason & I will sell tickets, if you buy a ticket from Jason, you are saying you think he will win, if you buy one from me, then you think I will win, all money collected will go to whatever or whomever the winner chooses, mine is going to be donated to Shawn Paul Lehman, to help with his expenses from his recent work accident, yes, :rolleyes: Jason, he is a TSRS registered driver! Just in case you win, you might be thinking of what to do with yours! LOL Nick, I too, am still laughing at your rules! :P
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Here's what I have about the race...

 

1) Before teh night of racing begins, I will introduce both Mary Ann and Jason to the crowd and explain the "story and history" behind the race (which, you're right Kathy--will take place at intermission)...this way, the crowd will know why we're doing, what we're doing..

 

2) After the introductions, Jason and Mary Ann will go thru the crowd and sell tickets...people who purchase tickets from Mary Ann are "saying" they think Mary Ann will win the race; those buying tickets from Jason are saying they think Jason will win (of course, folks can buy tickets from BOTH)...All monies raised will go to the WINNER'S favorite charity...

 

3) Right before the race, all monies raised will be turned over to Christy Ganem at the THR Merchandising Table for "safe keeping"....After Mary Ann beats Jason---er, after the race, Ganem turns ALL money over to the WINNER, who then turns over the money over to her (his) favorite charity...

 

That's it from my end...Again, this race is one-on-one, and will take place at intermission...we will have another Grand Stock race at the end of the evening, too..

 

Nick--are we going to line up all the Grand Stock cars we have on the track, so Jason has his choice of vehicle?

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Looks like this is a win win situation for Jason, If he loses, well he should lose because of the difference in experience. If he wins, it would be icing on the cake! He gets to get behind the wheel and race in front of what should be an enthused crowd in for the first racing experience of his life. Cant get much better than that! If he had racing aspirations before, it will probably increase tenfold after this experience. Sounds like it will be a lot of fun for both drivers and members of TSZ. I envy both of you!

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Josh...

I remember that Kathy had someone film the race that she kicked my butt...I hope they burned that tape, btw!

 

I'm guessing you could get someone to tape the race...

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