You know you are a race fan when....

[TRACK ANNOUNCER]

You Know You're Obsessed with dirt track racing When.........

 

you use crash helmets as lamp shades.

 

you install a pull off steering wheel into your passenger car.

 

you have pajamas that look like a driving suit.

 

you start a petition to declare the Super Nationals in Boon Iowa as a national holiday.

 

you have performance parts stickers plastered all over the back window of your pick up.

 

you have chromed the wheels to your lawn mower.

 

you use valve covers as bread baking pans.

 

you find yourself trying to broad slide your car every time you make a left hand turn on city streets.

 

your grand mother wants bead locks on her wheel chair.

 

you have this compelling urge to pass any motorist back that has the nerve to pass you.

 

you find yourself doing a cool down lap around the block each night you come home from work.

 

Your favorite bar stool has a racing seat with a 5 point safety harness.

 

 

Your pet is named one of the following .... Chevy, Ford or Dodge.

 

You have tire stagger on your family car.

 

The only suit you will EVER wear is a driving suit.

 

You put headers on your riding lawn mower.

 

You can rebuild a transmission but can’t seem to repair a leaky faucet.

 

You know who Howard Willis, Troy Taylor, and Rebelrace Writer is, but you can’t recall who the president of the United States is.

 

Your die cast race car collection exceeds the value of your family car.

 

You can recall better fights from the race track than you can from the WWF.

 

The only family picture you have was taken in victory lane.

 

You married your wife because she knew how to change tires and set air pressure.

 

You have racing tires in your yard that are used as flower pots.

 

You have a race tape collection that dates back more than 5 years.

 

You have staked your claim to a personal seating area in the grandstands.

 

You can drive to your local race track with your eyes closed.

 

Your children's names are Crandel, Kennedale, Boyd, and Kilgore. Other names you considered was Axle, Moroso, Afco, Coleman, Woodward, Jaz, Crower, and Brodix.

 

You haven't spoken to your father in 15 years because of a IMCA vs UMP argument.

 

Not only does your favorite driver know you by name, but he also has a restraining order against you.

 

You can wear a different racing t-shirt every day for a month without repeating them.

 

You find yourself saying a driver name like that of a track announcer.

 

When the winner of a race thanks his sponsors, you know which ones he forgot.

 

You have a collection of things you've been hit by at dirt tracks. And you're proud of em.

 

You've been known to live the entire week of the IMCA Nationals on only Vivarin and beer.

 

Your wife goes into labor on race night, and you only miss the heat races.

 

You've never once noticed the trophy girl in victory lane.

 

Your entire AOL address book is filled with people who have something to do with racing.

 

You can spot a tire going flat on a race car on the back streatch but can’t seem to color match your sox.

 

When your wife wants to gets your attention she simpley says the word “ RACING”.

[Sarge]

You can drive to your local race track with your eyes closed

 

No, but I seem to be able to drive HOME from the race track in my sleep, does that count?

 

You find yourself saying a driver name like that of a track announcer

 

But I am a track announcer, it is the way I say all the drivers names.

 

When the winner of a race thanks his sponsors, you know which ones he forgot

 

Yep, I have his card right in front of me.

 

Not only does your favorite driver know you by name, but he also has a restraining order against you

 

I've told the cops a million times, it ain't a restraning order until it is signed by a Judge. Until then, he has only filed for a restraining order. It makes a big difference.

 

You know who Howard Willis, Troy Taylor, and Rebelrace Writer is, but you can’t recall who the president of the United States is.

 

But Reb told me he was the President of the United States.

 

Bill "Sarge" Masom

[flyingaces]

MY WIFE TELLS EVERYONE THE ONLY WAY TO GET ME TO FIX ANYTHING AROUND THE HOUSE IS TO SLAP A #33 STICKER ON IT.

 

 

 

 

 

 

YOU MIGHT BE A REDNECK IF YOU TAKE THE WHEELS OF YOUR HOUSE TO PUT THEM ON YOUR RACECAR TRAILER