The Realities of Life

[Hartracn19]

- When you go to court, you are putting yourself in the hands of 12 people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.

 

- The shin bone is a device for finding furniture.

 

- Flashlights are a case for holding dead batteries.

 

- Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat all day drinking beer.

 

- The things that come to those who wait may be the things left by those who got there first.

 

- If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.

 

- It is said if you line up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try and pass them.

 

- The 50-50 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you will get it wrong.

 

- Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.

 

- Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.

 

- Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

 

- A day without sunshine is like, well, night.

 

- He who laughs last, thinks slowest.

 

-A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.

 

- Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright, until you hear them speak.

[THR Infi Turn 1]

An Old Farmer's Advice:

* Your fences need to be horse-high, pig-tight and bull-strong.

* Keep skunks and bankers and lawyers at a distance.

* Life is simpler when you plow around the stump.

* A bumble bee is considerably faster than a John Deere tractor.

* Words that soak into your ears are whispered...not yelled.

* Meanness don't jes' happen overnight.

* Forgive your enemies. It messes up their heads.

* Do not corner something that you know is meaner than you.

* It don't take a very big person to carry a grudge.

* You cannot unsay a cruel word.

* Every path has a few puddles.

* When you wallow with pigs, expect to get dirty.

* The best sermons are lived, not preached.

* Most of the stuff people worry about ain't never gonna happen anyway.

* Don't judge folks by their relatives.

* Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.

* Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think back, you'll enjoy it a second time.

* Don't interfere with somethin' that ain't botherin' you none.

* Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.

* If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin'.

* Sometimes you get, and sometimes you get got.

* The biggest troublemaker you'll probably ever have to deal with, watches you from the mirror every mornin'.

* Always drink upstream from the herd.

* Good judgment comes from experience, and a lotta that comes from bad judgment.

* Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier than puttin' it back in.

* If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around.

* Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.